it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
