everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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