Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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