i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
