you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
