OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
