on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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