I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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