Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
