I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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