Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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