Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
