the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sick fucks of a feather flock together
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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