party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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