I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
