No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
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