So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
