So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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