Whatcha textin bout Willis?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize