eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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