I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
We are all done wearing pants today
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
