I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
