Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(440): View more from Ohio

I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"

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(201): View more from New Jersey

i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.

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(713): View more from Texas

I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.

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23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Read it at the TFLN blog
(860): View more from Connecticut

im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.

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(703): View more from Virginia

If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?

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(818): View more from California

he made a bald eagle out of coke lines

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(310): View more from California

Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.

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(647): View more from Ontario

She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.

(416): View more from Toronto

This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.

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