what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
These tits shall not be calmed
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.