Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
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Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
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she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(