we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.