Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(312): View more from Illinois

Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway

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(619): View more from California

well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(626): View more from California

Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.

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(226): View more from Ontario

I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.

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(360): View more from Washington

Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.

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(228): View more from Mississippi

Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(

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