and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.