omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
