it's not cheating when I paid for it
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
