Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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