i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
she looked like the before picture.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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