they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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