pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
She tied me up with her honor cords...
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
