I wish I could punch you in the face.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
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