I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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