Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
