Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
