so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
