How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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