Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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