i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!