Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
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whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
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I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.