I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
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