so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
