Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
