Texts From Last Night

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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.

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  (860): The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't. http://tfl.nu/pwvs
  Replies (2) Good night (786) Bad night (1146)
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading

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  (416): So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading http://tfl.nu/2fp9
  Replies (21) Good night (3344) Bad night (1046)
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  (619): View more from California

  I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.

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  (619): I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong. http://tfl.nu/qtfu
  Replies (11) Good night (3556) Bad night (1525)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.

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  (828): As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance. http://tfl.nu/tng6
  Replies (85) Good night (9533) Bad night (1390)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume

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  (516): I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume http://tfl.nu/0r2u
  Replies (47) Good night (2164) Bad night (4559)
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  (585): View more from New York

  So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.

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  (585): So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag. http://tfl.nu/s1z9
  Replies (17) Good night (9272) Bad night (900)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.

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  (608): She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism. http://tfl.nu/czkn
  Replies (4) Good night (1849) Bad night (695)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night

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  (978): hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night http://tfl.nu/n6zz
  Replies (3) Good night (2045) Bad night (628)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.

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  (214): So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him. http://tfl.nu/fzxv
  Replies (2) Good night (2185) Bad night (516)
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  (779): View more from Illinois

  Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.

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  (779): Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright. http://tfl.nu/yk6p
  Replies (8) Good night (1228) Bad night (851)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.

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  (201): Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float. http://tfl.nu/ejnz
  Replies (6) Good night (1633) Bad night (609)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years

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  (720): At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years http://tfl.nu/t2xh
  Replies (0) Good night (752) Bad night (526)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains

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  (919): the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains http://tfl.nu/cfm9
  Replies (5) Good night (458) Bad night (929)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.

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  (704): Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day. http://tfl.nu/lzy7
  Replies (7) Good night (452) Bad night (418)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister

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  (763): I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister http://tfl.nu/vfep
  Replies (3) Good night (355) Bad night (132)

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