Texts From Last Night

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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk

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  (864): you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk http://tfl.nu/iikf
  Replies (10) Good night (4744) Bad night (544)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.

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  (617): Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die. http://tfl.nu/uh26
  Replies (6) Good night (675) Bad night (1950)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds

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  (508): your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds http://tfl.nu/5eyd
  Replies (11) Good night (4816) Bad night (871)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.

  (1-585): View more from New York

  You are so irish.

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  (585): I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better. (1-585): You are so irish. http://tfl.nu/pewr
  Replies (19) Good night (7047) Bad night (927)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.

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  (917): My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked. http://tfl.nu/yy4v
  Replies (16) Good night (4501) Bad night (921)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.

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  (618): Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar. http://tfl.nu/mv1g
  Replies (10) Good night (3544) Bad night (933)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.

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  (847): The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling. http://tfl.nu/bvbt
  Replies (6) Good night (2091) Bad night (664)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?

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  (714): Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit? http://tfl.nu/0nii
  Replies (5) Good night (1116) Bad night (575)
• Favorite

  (213): View more from California

  WTF DUDE?

  (323): View more from California

  Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this

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  (213): WTF DUDE? (323): Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this http://tfl.nu/ooar
  Replies (6) Good night (1136) Bad night (487)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me

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  (270): I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me http://tfl.nu/n5ey
  Replies (1) Good night (498) Bad night (266)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him

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  (704): i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him http://tfl.nu/hqgs
  Replies (1) Good night (727) Bad night (319)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...

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  (+44): wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay... http://tfl.nu/ag6z
  Replies (4) Good night (701) Bad night (213)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."

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  (610): You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would." http://tfl.nu/q6wg
  Replies (0) Good night (716) Bad night (292)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop

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  (618): i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop http://tfl.nu/c36z
  Replies (0) Good night (457) Bad night (251)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.

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  (708): I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples. http://tfl.nu/uuho
  Replies (3) Good night (281) Bad night (554)

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