I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY