Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land

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(519): View more from Ontario

He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.

(604): View more from British Columbia

HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES

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(813): View more from Florida

Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??

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17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Read it at the TFLN blog
(216): View more from Ohio

There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.

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(720): View more from Colorado

Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.

(303): View more from Colorado

Glad to hear you raised your standards

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(514): View more from Quebec

I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me

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(541): View more from Oregon

Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?

(1-541): View more from Oregon

I was just power-washing my vagina.

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(314): View more from Missouri

Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across

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