I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?