god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.