erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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