i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
