Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Dear god my vagina.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
