I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
