I wish I only lived at night.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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