i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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