chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
