took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize