she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Randomize
