Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
