just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
