I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
