You smell like stripper and shame
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
