i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
